Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Tested and Confirmed: 7 Steps to RICHES


For the first time in a very long time, I get to blog. Feels SOOO good to the back.

Just in case u wondering were I've been.........
here's a catch up ......

I've been doing it.....moving around trying to make meaning of my life I did it, too. I walked by big houses and wondered who lived there. What did they do for a living? How did they make their money? Someday, I told myself, I would live in a house better than that.

I read books about successful people. In fact, I read every book or magazine I could get my hands on (Plus a lot of them, from ). I told myself one good idea would pay for the book and could make the difference between me making it or not.

But here's one fact i find TOO factual not to challenge.

These stories are great to read about and sometimes they even inspire us.

But are they always true?

Many of us think that if we could only get our hands on the right 10 steps, we can be successful too. We believe that there is this linear process where we can read a book, and if followed, it will lead
to riches. This is why there are so many books out there with numbers in their titles like:

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

The 7 Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra

48 Laws of Power

The 17 Essential Qualities Of A Team Player

The 17 Indisputable LawsOf Teamwork

One that got my attention, The Business Laws: The 7 Irrefutable Laws That Determine All Business Success by David Eichenbaum.

How can he be so sure?

Infact how can they all be so Sure?

There are not 7 nor 777777 steps to success.

It is different for everyone. We can all get at financial success if that is our goal, but there isn’t one single path that will work for all of us.

They make it sound so Mathematical. Take for instance "The 7 Habits of highly effective people" is that suppose to be a Universal Personal development law. Commoooooon, in Nigeria alone, in Ikorodu where I stay to be specific you probably at Least 7 top survive the daily trafic, another 7 for Commodity bargaining, another 7 to keep you from being frustrated and the list is endless.

So without the 7 steps where do we begin our journey?

Well, the first thing we need to do is stop letting our egos brag about our successes and Honor Our Failures instead.

Yes...thats what I do. Tell people how I Painfully and regretably failed keeping my job at R.B.A (technically).

Failure is valuable only when we realize it is a normal part of the business and Success process, even when there isn’t always something to learn. So it does not hold us back.

The real fear and pressure in this whole process is not brought on by our competitors or other outside people. It mostly originates within us. The biggest fear we have is that someone in our position would have done better than us, made better decisions, and would have built it faster and
more profitably than we did. We believe that we should be in a different place than where we are right now, and that we would be if only we had made better decisions.



Errant Nonsense (as a gr8 teacher and former Boss of mine used to say).

In order to move forward in our business life—past the fear, past the failure, and yes, past the success—we actually need to just let go. Letting go is the key to gaining true business confidence—
not by holding onto what people have taught you are the keys to success, not by looking for the 7 steps. You need to let go of the idea that there is always something to learn from failure or that you can always build and duplicate your success.

To be Continued...........

Friday, September 25, 2009

Decision Making


A group of children were playing near two railway tracks, one still in
use while the other disused. Only one child played on the disused
track, the rest on the operational track.

The train is coming, and you are just beside the track interchange.
You can make the train change its course to the disused track and save most of the kids. However, that would also mean the lone child playing by the disused track would be sacrificed. Or would you rather let the train go its way?

Let's take a pause to think what kind of decision we could make.................

Scroll down

scroll down further

Most people might choose to divert the course of the train, and
sacrifice only one child. You might think the same way, I guess.
Exactly, to save most of the children at the expense of only one child
was rational decision most people would make, morally and emotionally.
But, have you ever thought that the child choosing to play on the
disused track had in fact made the right decision to play at a safe

Nevertheless, he had to be sacrificed because of his ignorant friends
who chose to play where the danger was. This kind of dilemma happens
around us everyday. In the office, community, in politics and
especially in a democratic society, the minority is often sacrificed
for the interest of the majority, no matter how foolish or ignorant
the majority are, and how farsighted and knowledgeable the minority
are. The child who chose not to play with the rest on the operational
track was sidelined. And in the case he was sacrificed, no one would
shed a tear for him.

The great critic Leo Velski Julian who told the story said he would
not try to change the course of the train because he believed that the
kids playing on the operational track should have known very well that
track was still in use, and that they should have run away if they
heard the train's sirens. If the train was diverted, that lone child
would definitely die because he never thought the train could come
over to that track! Moreover, that track was not in use probably
because it was not safe. If the train was diverted to the track, we
could put the lives of all passengers on board at stake! And in your
attempt to save a few kids by sacrificing one child, you might end up
sacrificing hundreds of people to save these few kids.

While we are all aware that life is full of tough decisions that need
to be made, we may not realize that hasty decisions may not always
be the right one.

'Remember that what's right isn't always popular... and what's popular
isn't always right.'

Everybody makes mistakes.

Please your reaction is needed.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Building strong Community Friendships

Establishing relationships with other members from a variety of communities is extremely vital for your community and your personal growth. This can largely determine how much your community can enjoy your life today and tomorrow. Unless your community actually has giving and caring relationships with other communities, your kind, as a whole, could probably miss out on the joys of interaction and socializing. At least take time to listen for others and watch out for them; it’s amazing how many wonders these simple gestures can do.

It is truly difficult to build up a healthy friendship with another community without having relationships of “convenience.” Remember that the essence of a true and righteous friendship is the sacrifices that you will make for one another with no expectation of gratitude or a return compliment. The sacrificing act is truly out of the feeling for the people and that feeling is unconditional in nature.

To establish strong friendships, have listening ears and open hearts so that you can partake in the emotions of the other. Being open to other’s emotions will mean that you will also end up having plenty of people with whom you can multiply your joy and divide your sorrows. This true form of friendship can eventually transform into love between members of different sections.
To continue a healthy relationship, stay away from conditions and make sure that there are no strings attached among both parties. Always be willing to help out with a mind which is totally free of any preconceived conclusions that you will receive something in return; this is probably the only actual way by which you can build strong community friendships.

Nothing can substitute or be as valuable as a caring attitude. Individual actions by a few members of your community could greatly affect members of other communities! Make time to reach out and connect with other people. While it can be easy to confine your love and care within the home and among your close family and friends, there can be no harm done by extending the same love, support and care to others outside your circle. Get out and visit places and join social clubs which are involved in helping those in need or just involved in sharing of knowledge or interests or even experiences.

Community friendships can result in mutually beneficial relationships which cannot only
promote communal understanding and love but which can also promote the most basic purposes of humanity; to be together for one and for all!

Founded in 1997, Bizymoms is one of the largest online resources for work-at-home and other everyday “mom” issues. Bizymoms offers many useful resources for moms and now information on new books by popular authors. Visit our new site to learn more about Beverly Lewis and the Amish Community - the foundation of her best-selling novels!

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Six Quick Tips to Build Charisma

"Charisma is the intangible that makes people want to follow you, to be around you, to be influenced by you." -- Roger Dawson

Each person is born ethnocentric, or believing that other people and events revolve around them which is generally true for the first few years of a child's life. The focus of activity for a growing child is inward. Some people carry this inward, self-focus into adulthood. These people, so overly concerned with their own well being in a self-centered way, never learn the secrets of influence. Successful people, who want to have the power of persuasion, turn their circle of activity and interest outward. They expand their centers to be as conscious of the world around them as they are of themselves. They develop what we call, charisma.Charisma means you have learned to:

1. Act with credibility. Those who are inconsistent in their behavior repel people while those who are consistent in their behavior draw people to them. To be influential, have integrity. Speak up for what you believe, then act accordingly.Gerry Spence, one of America's greatest trial lawyers, said, "One can stand as the greatest orator the world has known, possess the quickest mind, employ the cleverest psychology, and have mastered all the technical devices of argument, but if one is not credible one might just as well preach to the pelicans."

2. Be interested. Be truly interested in the other person. Treat him or her as the most important person you'll interact with that day - a VIP, Very Important Person. Smile at them, not just for a brief, dutiful second, but for a magical two or three seconds.When you smile, lean toward the person a little, and think in your mind, "I like you. You are a great individual. I want to get to know you better." You'll be amazed at the connection and trust that will occur.

3. Extend respect. A few interaction skills that make a big difference to a respectful atmosphere in your organization include not interrupting conversations, asking if the person has time to talk, and listening to ideas.Remember not to be in such a know-it-all position or in such a hurry that you finish other people's sentences. Be sure to comment on their ideas to let them know you have really been listening, not just waiting for them to take a breath so you can jump in with your agenda.

4. Deliver sincere compliments. People you work with do care what you think about them. They appreciate your mentioning their good work. When you do recognize them, be specific in your compliments.Refrain from saying in an off-handed manner, "Oh, great work, Donna." Make it more personal: "Donna, that is the best research that has come across my desk in the last six months. Excellent work."

5. Accept sincere compliments. If a colleague comments, "Good presentation." Refrain from saying, "Oh, it was nothing." If a friend says, "Nice suit," don't reply, "This old thing? I've had it for years."Deflecting a compliment often draws unwanted attention and belittles both you and the person offering the compliment. Just say,"Thank you." You'll be pleased with how gracious you become.

6. State what you are FOR, not AGAINST. People don't like nor do they cooperate with people who they think are against them. When you are against something, the person thinks you are against them personally. Once you voice your opposition to another person's idea, you become part of the problem. It's as if a war has started with each of you fighting to be right.

When you are for something, you begin focusing on the potential for positive change. You start the process of collaboration. You become a powerful person.

Try it. Next time a colleague brings you an idea for improving the department, find something about the idea you can be for. You may find that you never have to state what you were against in her ideas because the synergy and creativity has taken a positive turn to solving the problem.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Dear Fellow Mathematicians

Everyday and time i think about you all, i cant just help but try to form that am not missing you all. Its hard and painful to think of the fact that I might never ever get to see some of you all again.

Its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

But 20 children cannot play for 20twenty years they say.

The Gospel truth be told,
if you folks think its all over, if you think that after convocation rice and all those light flashing devices we pointed at each other to capture images and the nearer to fake than original smiles and compliments we shared that I Ibrahim Adekunle Durosimi (a Nigeria Minister and U.N Ambassador would be) would just let you go like that. The Bad News THINK AGAIN.

Cos am stuck to you like good memories, cos that what you all bring to me Good memories.

Where should i start from, all those test and exams we wrote together plus all the dolling Voltrons we formed that never had a Red Lion, the MAT 303 and 304 we took and passed but barely understood, the MAT 308 and 208 we still till today doubt if the scripts were marked, the love shared in common for Prof. Adepoju, the unified opinion about Dr. Ajala and Dr Hansel, the Record we shared as the Set with the Highest number of graduating 1st Class and grad students, as the set that never did a Dinner Party because of lack of trust, the record setting Tour we went on, the clicks we formed, jaja sona diploma makama inexcess amongst other questionable clicks, the trophies we won from playing football, the classes we attended together the lectures we stabbed together the pranks we all played together........................

Really if i had a chance to do it all over again, I wouldn't hesitate to choose you guys again. Each and everyone of you. You are unique in your style, different in your being, outstanding in your performance, blessed in your personality, admirable in your qualities, encouraging in your approach and lovely in your looks.

It is with a heart half filled with tears of joy and a heart half empty with regrets that I, with a mix emotions of love and anger punch at my keyboard to say all this.Partly because all along when I was around you, i never really appreciated you all enough (Never miss your water till the Well runs Dry) (Never miss what you've got till its gone). And partly because there is more to you all that I still don't understand.

truth be told I will miss you all, but I beg of you, i know and we know some of you are well connected like a promiscuous NITEL Cable and some of you go are everywhere like home video posters, gathering information like a CNN reporter who needs to be promoted, anything you come across and are sure would benefit us all in our professional and personal aspirations PLEASE this is not the Exam all share it with us, there are no invigilators to arrest you, Write it on the wall of this group.

Lets for the First time in a Long time Form a Voltrorn that would work.

I have missed, I am missing and I will continue to Miss You All
Fatima Samuel Bambo Nma Bisola Onome John White Somefun Franklin SegunOshikoya Smith Pacheco Adedigba Bash Gboye and You ALL in Particular.

Lots of Love.

Can we all have a joint Val Celebration together somewhere affordable and romantic together?